How God Created Mothers

My husband just read this to me and I had to share. This whimsical article written by the well-known humorist, Erma Bombeck, is meant to give pause for thought and gratitude on Mother’s Day and throughout the year. Enjoy!

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of “overtime” when the angel appeared and said, “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.”

And God said, “Have you read the specs on this order? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts… all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands.”

The angel shook her head slowly and said, “Six pairs of hands… no way.”

“It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” God remarked. “It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.”

“That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel.

God nodded. “One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?’ when she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t, but what she has to know, and, of course, the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and says, ‘I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word.”

“God,” said the angel, touching his sleeve gently. “Get some rest, tomorrow…”

“I can’t,” said God. “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick, can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburg, and can get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower.”

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed.

“But tough!” said God excitedly. “You cannot imagine what this mother can do or endure.”

“Can it think?” asked the angel.

“Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. “There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model.”

“It’s not a leak,” said the Lord. “It’s a tear.”

“What’s it for?”

“It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.”

“You’re a genius,” said the angel.

Somberly, God said, “I didn’t put it there.”

mother

To all mothers — whether they nurture friends, animals, children or strangers in need — I hope you had a great Mother’s Day!

8 Comments

  1. I love Bombeck…she’s been making me laugh and cry a long, long time. Another one I love to read is Miss Manners books…but they are definitely dated. Just funny to look back and historically see societies rules.

    • She’s fantastic! Her humor was like no other. I was so surprised to see her name in the church bulletin, of all places. Don’t know Miss Manners. I’ll have to look that one up. I love to look back, too. Hope you had a great Mother’s Day, Susan!

  2. I love it. It made me spring a “leak” too, haha. I always wanted to write like a cross between Erma Bombeck and Dave Barry. Between the two of them, they covered just about every issue under the sun, in fun, and often touching, ways. Like this. Thanks for sharing, Sue.

  3. Oh, this is great, Sue! I remember reading this before, and absolutely loving it. Thanks for reminding me of it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

  • Follow me on Amazon

    Sue Coletta Books